We hear all the time about the bullies and how they destroy lives. Here is a great story about a great kid!
My son is 12 and having a very difficult time right now. Recently, he stuck up for another child in his class. I guess this other child is considered to be a “nerd” by the other kids. I hate that term, but I figure you need to know all the details. Anyway, this kid was being picked on fiercely and my son got in the way of it and tried to protect this kid. Needless to say, the kids turned their venom on my son as well as this other kid and now both are miserable. You need to know that both my husband and I are incredibly proud of our son for doing this. He came to the aid of another human being even though it might cost him something and we believe that to be a terrific gift for all of us. It’s very difficult though for our son to understand that. Any thoughts? Signed…Proud mom.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Your child is one terrific kid! What a selfless, caring gesture! We’ve all been picked on at one time in our life or another and know how bad it is. Your son had enough empathy and concern for someone other than himself to put himself on the line. I would go as far as saying that this is “hero” material. I write all the time about how we need to learn to start being more considerate of each other and start watching out for each other and I am thrilled to hear that there is a child out there doing this very thing.
If you haven’t already, you need to let this child know how you feel. You need to really push that so that he can feel like his decision was a good one. He also needs to know that anyone who makes fun of others is usually pretty insecure inside anyway. The opinion of a kid like that should mean nothing! I know that in the real world, the popular kids can tend to also be the most uncaring and everyone wants to be with them. Your son has the ability to think critically and to not follow the crowd. That takes a lot of inner strength and direction. He is a far better person than those other kids who engage in using their energy to pick on others.
That said, in a world where beat downs are sadly all too common in schools, you also need to make sure your son understands basic safety and the need to make sure appropriate adults, including you, are involved from the moment he does something like this. We don’t want to see any bloodshed from a heroic act!
Your son also needs to know that many times these things tend to become old news after some time has gone by. If he doesn’t consistently respond to the comments, the bullies will not be getting any attention from him and will go elsewhere to find new “prey.” He needs to understand though, that ignoring once and then responding the second time or fifth time isn’t going to eliminate the problem. He needs to ignore consistently over a period of time. Of course, as I said before, if there is a threat of physical harm involved in any way, adults need to be brought into this and safety needs to be the number one concern. If adults are not doing the appropriate thing, you need to push further action to prevent harm.
Please show him this post and let him know that I think he’s one in a million. We hear all the time on the news about the violent, horrible things kids do. It is so nice and refreshing to hear about a kid who is a hero! You are definitely doing something right! Thank you for sharing!
Dr. Sherri Singer is a Processing and Motivation Skills Excellence Coach who works with you in person, 1 on 1, live via webcam. Contact Dr. Sherri
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