We hear all the time about the bullies and how they destroy lives. Here is a great story about a great kid!
My son is 12 and having a very difficult time right now. Recently, he stuck up for another child in his class. I guess this other child is considered to be a “nerd” by the other kids. I hate that term, but I figure you need to know all the details. Anyway, this kid was being picked on fiercely and my son got in the way of it and tried to protect this kid. Needless to say, the kids turned their venom on my son as well as this other kid and now both are miserable. You need to know that both my husband and I are incredibly proud of our son for doing this. He came to the aid of another human being even though it might cost him something and we believe that to be a terrific gift for all of us. It’s very difficult though for our son to understand that. Any thoughts? Signed…Proud mom.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Your child is one terrific kid! What a selfless, caring gesture! We’ve all been picked on at one time in our life or another and know how bad it is. Your son had enough empathy and concern for someone other than himself to put himself on the line. I would go as far as saying that this is “hero” material. I write all the time about how we need to learn to start being more considerate of each other and start watching out for each other and I am thrilled to hear that there is a child out there doing this very thing.
If you haven’t already, you need to let this child know how you feel. You need to really push that so that he can feel like his decision was a good one. He also needs to know that anyone who makes fun of others is usually pretty insecure inside anyway. The opinion of a kid like that should mean nothing! I know that in the real world, the popular kids can tend to also be the most uncaring and everyone wants to be with them. Your son has the ability to think critically and to not follow the crowd. That takes a lot of inner strength and direction. He is a far better person than those other kids who engage in using their energy to pick on others.
That said, in a world where beat downs are sadly all too common in schools, you also need to make sure your son understands basic safety and the need to make sure appropriate adults, including you, are involved from the moment he does something like this. We don’t want to see any bloodshed from a heroic act!
Your son also needs to know that many times these things tend to become old news after some time has gone by. If he doesn’t consistently respond to the comments, the bullies will not be getting any attention from him and will go elsewhere to find new “prey.” He needs to understand though, that ignoring once and then responding the second time or fifth time isn’t going to eliminate the problem. He needs to ignore consistently over a period of time. Of course, as I said before, if there is a threat of physical harm involved in any way, adults need to be brought into this and safety needs to be the number one concern. If adults are not doing the appropriate thing, you need to push further action to prevent harm.
Please show him this post and let him know that I think he’s one in a million. We hear all the time on the news about the violent, horrible things kids do. It is so nice and refreshing to hear about a kid who is a hero! You are definitely doing something right! Thank you for sharing!
Dr. Sherri Singer is a Processing and Motivation Skills Excellence Coach who works with you in person, 1 on 1, live via webcam. Contact Dr. Sherri
It seems that things are backwards these days. I remember being bullied as a child and being told that unless there was some sort of evidence,the school could not help. Wow! We have sure come a long way from there. This story has the bullying AND the evidence, but instead of the school doing the right thing and going after the bully, and making an example of him, they persecute the victim further. How dare they! You really have to wonder who these people are and how they could possibly have a job, especially in a public school. Sigh! Just makes you know why more and more parents are choosing private or homeschool for their kids. This is just a disgrace and these people should be ashamed of setting a dangerous precedent of making the public school into a true "Lord of the Flies". I think there needs to be a huge public outcry. It effects all of us as this school is clearly supporting and growing the most horrible behavior and turning their backs. What do you think? There is a link to the original article on this page as well.
The Crime of Being Bullied: 15-Year-Old Special Needs Student Convicted of Disorderly Conduct for Recording Evidence of Bullying by Evan Bernick
"It’s a horrific case study in bullying. A high school sophomore who suffers from comprehension delay disorder (an information-processing disorder), ADHD, and an anxiety disorder was regularly shoved and tripped, nearly burned with a cigarette lighter, and psychologically tortured by his peers. He fought back in the only way he could, documenting the abuse on his school-issued iPad. His mother, Shea Love, submitted the evidence to school administrators.
And the administrators took action. Not against the bullies. Against their victim.
According to BenSwann.com, a sophomore at South Fayette High School in McDonald, Pennsylvania, whose name has been withheld at the family’s request, suffered a year of abuse before he decided to take a stand. After researching anti-bullying websites, he used his school-issued iPad to make a seven-minute audio recording of his treatment during math class, where the most intense bullying took place. He later explained his actions: “I wanted her (Love) to understand what I went through…. I wanted it to stop. I just felt like nothing was being done.”
What exactly is on the recording? According to Love, as the teacher is attempting to help her son with a math problem, a student says, “You should pull his pants down!” Another student replies, “No, man. Imagine how bad that (c**t) smells! No one wants to smell that (t**t).” Then, a loud noise is heard—the sound of book being slammed down next to Love’s son after a student feigned hitting him in the head with it. Laughter follows.
Love submitted the recording to the school’s administrators hoping they would punish the perpetrators. Disgracefully, these “educators” decided to blame the victim. Love says that instead of handling the matter internally, Principal Scott Milburn summoned South Fayette Township Police Lieutenant Robert Kurta to the school to interrogate her son in the presence of the associate principal and the dean of students. Prior to Kurta’s arrival, the faculty members pressured the student, whose mother was not present, to delete the recording. By the time Love arrived at the school, her son was understandably distraught.
Then something surreal happened. Love’s son was first threatened with felony wiretapping, but the charge was later reduced to disorderly conduct. Felony wiretapping? Disorderly conduct?This conduct is not even remotely the sort at which such statutes are directed, and the mind reels at the idiocy of these charges. Using the criminal law to target this helpless 15-year old is a disgraceful exercise of prosecutorial discretion.
Unbelievably enough, District Judge Maureen McGraw-Desmet found the bullied student guilty. The student plans to appeal, and his next court appearance is April 29. To add insult to injury, while the school kicked Love’s son out of the special education math class, the bullies remain enrolled.
The school will not comment on the matter. That’s not just unacceptable—it’s despicable. Love’s son is not only owed an apology from Principal Milburn and reinstatement into the math class, but the school should conduct a thorough investigation into his continuing torment. The bullies should be punished. And the victim’s conviction should be reversed on appeal."
Dr. Sherri Singer is a Processing and Motivation Skills Excellence Coach who works with you in person,
1 on 1, live via webcam. Contact Dr. Sherri
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