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Helping You Have An Easier School & Homework Day

That Bad Mom Moment that Helps Your Child, Your Day and Your Past...

3/15/2015

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Have you ever had a moment where you did something with your child and right afterwards, you sat down and a moment from your own childhood started to play that wasn't exactly positive? I just had that moment. My son came into my office as I am sitting here intensely trying to unlock severe writer's block and trying to find anything online to move me forward. He asked me to come with him. I asked him if it was important because I was trying to work. He told me it was game related so it was not important and he didn't even wait for me to get to the end of my sentence before he said it and started to walk away. When I originally asked my son if it was important, the never ending truth that everything about him and what he enjoyed was and will and should always be important, should have been evident to me first and I knew that as the glancing blow of guilt grazed across my nose when I first said it to him. At some level, I knew that it was the wrong thing to say, but the driven part of me that supports the same son as well as my whole family came out as the victor in the battle of the internal wills. 

I still went to see what he wanted me to see, because the guilt was motivating, but my response remained in my work and in getting back to it as fast as I could, so my responses to him were less than interested. I did go back to my, for today, non productive chair and started to scroll through the landing page website I was studying. Suddenly, I was 10 and my dad was just home from a 14 hour day of work and I tried to ask something and got pushed aside. Not physically as my dad did not ever become physical. Not even maliciously, because there was never a more hard working man committed to taking care of his family, but still enough that you knew that his head was still in work and the problems of the day and what you had to say could not be as important at the moment. So I sat in that millisecond of a moment and started to feel ill. I had done the same thing to my son in that moment and now he was sitting there feeling unimportant and certainly less important than my work. 


Yes I am human and yes I know that we all do it from time to time, but I was not going to be that kind of parent. It was time to prioritize the right way. So I got up and walked over to him and told him out loud that I was sorry for acting that way and that what was important to him IS always important to me and I am interested in what he likes to do and that he should show me and not be worried about coming to show me things, even when I am working. I kissed him on the head, told him I love him and he said he understood. I went back to work in my office and my writer's block lifted like a foggy morning goes away in the light of the sun. I had taken a ghost of the past and righted it for me and for him. 


The moral of the story for you and for me: there is never a moment lost that you cannot get back by doing the right thing and saying the right words. The kids come first and with that, the creativity will follow. Our kids are my life force. 

Now get up from your addictive screen and go hug and kiss your kids! 

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    *Dr. Singer's areas of expertise involve building processing excellence skills (multi tasking, processing speed, auditory and visual memory, working memory, distraction and frustration tolerance as well as educating parents in natural tips to prevent behavior problems through daily habit changes in diet, exercise, sleep and family time. She does not work with severe Psychological conditions or people with serious Psychological issues. If you feel you have those kinds of issues, you can let Dr. Singer know and she will make appropriate referrals for you to get the type of expert and help you need. If anyone viewing this site or any other of Dr. Singer's social media pages feels suicidal, self destructive or like they could harm someone else, or they know someone in that situation, they need to get themselves or the other person to an emergency room and/or call 911 immediately for help. 

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  • Home
  • Ahead of the Crowd!
    • Ahead of the Crowd!
    • Training the Best Skills
    • Science behind the classes >
      • Science Behind The Classes
      • Skills Modified
      • Sample Exercise
      • Lost in Learning
    • Preventing Behavior
    • Changing daily habits can create a success track
  • About
    • Dr. Sherri Does Things Differently...
    • Happy parents say >
      • Parents Happy With Dr. Sherri Say...
      • Pilot Program Comments
    • Dr. Sherri Articles >
      • Surviving Common Core & The Next New Curriculum by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • Why Does a 1/2 Hour of Homework Have to Take 3 Hours? by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • ADHD-What To Do After The Pill by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • Why Time Out Doesn’t Work: Common Mistakes Parents Make That Can Keep Bad Behavior Going
      • Forgotten Homework Assignments Can Be Much More Than a Learning Problem But Not Always ADHD
      • The Dark Side of Behavior Improvement by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • What Does a Barrel of Monkeys Have to Do With Your Childs Focus, Attention Span and Ability to Learn? PLENTY! by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • The Myth of The Evil Carrot. Which Works Better to Change Behavior...Rewards or Consequences? by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • A Simple First Step to Helping Kid's Attention Problems by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • Is Your Child’s Real Learning Potential Being Buried Under a Stack of Books?
      • Hey Mom…Pull My Finger - Fun With Flatulence by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • This Invisible Problem Can Have Long Lasting Effects on School Progress & Behavior by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • What Happened To The Days When We Loved Lucy?
      • Can U Help a Child's Work Speed Get Faster?
      • When Do You Need To Go Beyond Tutoring For Learning Problems?
      • Natural Consequences… What Happens When What's Natural Doesn't Work?
      • Is the Educational System Unfair To Boys?
    • Dr. Sherri Articles 2 >
      • Is Lowering the Bar on Expectations Such a Good Thing? by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • ADHD on the rise: 1 in 5 high school-age boys diagnosed with hyperactivity, but they're not sure it reallty is ADHD.
      • The De-stressing Gift of Dick Van Dyke
      • Innocent Game or Murder Simulator? by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • An Insidious Cause of Behavior Problems by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • Moms’ Fish Intake Affects Kids’ ADHD Risk
      • Can Mean Behavior Be Changed? by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • Avoiding Another Columbine by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • Monkey See Monkey Do by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • Teaching Children to Respect Animals by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • Where Have All The Valedictorians Gone? by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • Attention Parents-Top Ten Homeschooling Mistakes & How To Avoid Them
      • Is The Golden Rule Dead? by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • Hey Mom, Pull My Finger! by Dr. Sherri Singer
      • Principal cancels "Honors Night" and is in some hot water with parents
      • Why Kids Must Learn To Fail With Grace by Dr. Sherri Singer
    • Dr. Sherri Resume'
    • Dr. Sherri biz cards
    • Contact Dr. Sherri Singer - Help at home
  • Distraction Tolerance Training
    • Distraction Tolerance Training
    • Frustration Tolerance Training
  • Dr. Sherri's Blog - Helping You Have An Easier Homeschool Day
  • Get us started now TODAY!
    • Client information form to have a webcam or phone consult with Dr. Sherri
  • Retroactive Discount Program Dr Sherri
  • Skills need a wake up?
  • Dr. Sherri Summer Program
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